part 2, to my last blog

So I find out, he's at nicks hanging out. When at 6 0 clock you told me you couldn't come over. Because his stepdad or whoever would bitch about him being out. Well wow, glad your out right now at nicks. When I asked you can't just come over till like 9? And he said no what do you not get.

Well obviously he wouldn't bitch you out, cause your still out.

My point exactly. If you donnt wanna hangout, then say so.

Bye.

who would have known

so of course, tonight, i should have known i wasnt going to be hanging out with robby. everytime i get that feeling in my stomach, theres gonna be some dumb reason i dont see him tonight. and well i was right, "nick was bitchy for me not gonna be home tonight". well then why did you tell me earlier you were going to? and the night before?
ugh i know this really isnt his fault, but sometimes i just feel like he dosent want to hang out. and if thats the case i wish he could tell me.
also, hes now in just do it. which is rad, i love just do it. tyler is my biffle :p
but i know this is going to take over his life. it already has, he told me today after his meeting he was going to come hangout with me. then oh sorry i got practice. well, i know this is important that you learn the songs, but you made plans with me first. and it didnt even bug him. id be tottallly diffrent about the situtation, if he was in just do it before we were together, but he wasnt.

last night i said, im happy i get to spend new years with you, and he said oh well i cant wait for my first show. like oh really? at least lie to me and say your excited too.

i just hate feeling shitty. and i hate having a boyfriend thats my bestfriend. haha. because i dont know what to do with myself when im not with him.

but regardless of him probably going to forget about me, i am happy for him. i know hes been wanting to be in a band, so regardless, ill support him.

anyways, on a happier note, tommorow biffle sam is pickin me up, and doing my hair. really stoked about it. i need a change. and whats the best thing to do when your stressed about stuff ladies? get your hair done duh.

then after that, ROBBY IS SUPPOSED TO COME SLEEP OVER. but well see i guess.

then NEW YEARS! cant wait. im really stoked about spending it with robby and whoever, but more excited to spend it with sammy. i really didt see me and her getting close at all. but i can honestly say shes a awesome person, and im glad shes my friend.
were getting dressed up, and gona have a blast your jealous :p

tyler said something about a show at the haunted basement, id go. cause id go, and 2 i havent seen tyler in awhile, and i enjoy hanging out with tyler. so hopefully i can see him.

well...thats it for now.
im gonna go see if drake and josh is on.
bye.

kinda bummed

So I hung out with dom & sammy today. And then went to robbys. But I realized, im pretty bummed that dom is leaving. He's radrad. :/ but ohwell. Ill see him again, so its okay. But today me and him were talking, and I said something about someone kidding around, and he was like shut your mouth! and I said, if someone said I was dumb, you wouldn't say that. And he said, actually I have stuck up for you before. And I find that really weird. Because I don't know anyone here for them to say anything bad about me. And he said it was a girl. I am pretty sure I have a idea about who/whom they are. But that pisses me of cause I come off mean, and I knowwww I can be a bitch but they don't even know me. I say shit about girls, don't get me wrong, but Its nothing I wouldn't say to their faces. Idk shit like that gets to me. I couldn't give a fuck about what people think of how I am. But it pisses me off these girls haven't even gotten to know me. Ohwell.

terrible

So last night was the worst thing ever.

the night started out funfun. with sammy :) we went to a rad gnargnar show. 

but on the way to taking me home we got in a car accident. thankfully me her, and justin are okay.

but her car isnt :( 

it sucks cause my neck rly hurts. and my lip is fucked. and now i have a headache so bad, that it makes me feel like im going to puke. 

i dont really feel like writing anymore. but i thought id update

todaysucked

so today was one of the crappiest days ever. i hate when you go from having really good days, weeks, or months, and then all of a sudden your life just sucks the big one.

alot of shitty stuff happened today, and i dont even wanna talk about it.

but last night was fun, even though the beginning sucked. dom & tyler slept over :)
and we watched trueblood, of course haha.
and dom fell asleep, and outta nowhere woke up and was like, i wanna make brownies.
it was really funny.

i went to a show with sammy tonight @ the haunted basement and watched ace play then we left. there was this cat there that threwup and it seems like noone takes care of it :( it bummed me, sammy & ace out badbad.
ace saidsomething about talking to the kid that owns it about letting him keep take it maybe. so sammy can have it.
so i hope she can.
you shouldnt have animals unless you can take care of em.

gabby comes back in febuary, and i cant wait. i miss her more then anything :(

disapointed.

i hate when you really want something and the person you care for so much, just cant do it for you.
my bestfriend left today, and all i wanted was for my boyfriend to just comeover tonight like he said he was going to and just hangout with me. but of course, as it WOULD be. hes not going to.
i hatewhen you wait all day for something, and then they dont come over. or when they wait till the time they are supposed to be on there way to say, oh im not coming anymore. but its not a big deal to him because, "i see you everyday"


well, wow. i didnt know it was sucha burden for you to come and hangout.

i dont get why guys dont just say no, if they dont want to do what is being done.
if you dont want to hangout with me, dont fucking hang out with me. theres noone forcing you.
if i get mad, so fucking what. dont be a baby about it. deal with it.

im a girl. who lives in des moines. with basically no friends. i have friends. but there his friends. i have no friends that i can call my friends except one, which is sammy. but shes busy alot so its tottalllly understandable as to why i dont see her so much.

its just, friends arent friends that cant hangout with you unless your boyfriends around.

but its whatever, hell go out to his friends. and hell have fun.
and ill sit home by myself, and be bored. missing home. and missing my friends.

im not trying to put this as his fault. but i wish someone here actually cared, or even understood where im coming from.

hate this

i hate when my bestfriend comes in for a week from philadelphia, and then leaves. i hate watching her go :( its the worst feeling in the world. i really do love it here, but it feels so much better to have a part of home here with me, let a lone my bestfriend. i hate when she leaves. i cry like a little baby everytime.
it also sucks, because, everytime she leaves, part of me really wants to go with her. part of me really misses home.

i miss sitting on the beach at night, listening to the water. more then anything.
its one of the best feelings ever. it feels like it takes all my stress away, and that there is nothing on my mind.

i wish so bad i could go and sit there for ever right now.
ive been stressed out with so much and so much shit has been on mind i just want it all gone. just for a little bit, and i feel like thats the only thing that could do it.

im gonna nap.
bye.