im stil trying to figure out

why i still like you..

really happy

had a really goodnight with sammy tonight.
we had a lot of fun. YUP.

anyways, nick and joe ARE coming here now with gabby, and im so excited. i miss the both of them so much its insance. me and nick have one of the bestfriendships ever. we used to date, and i was sucha a bitch to him, and idk why i was. i wish i wasnt. i made a really bad mistake ever breaking up with him. ive never EVER been with a guy that has treated me as good as he did. but at least i have one of the bestfriends ever out of it. i cant wait to see him.
and joe! oh joeyyy. i love joey. hes my favorite. i cant wait to see him. he always makes me happy.
and gabby, well everyone knows shes my other half!

anyways, still debating on a certain decision. im fixing out the pros and cons. and im starting to realize what is better for me, and what is going to make me happy in the LONG run. of course if i make this decision, ill be really upset for awhile. but it will make me happy in the long run. and i wont constantly be upset like i always am. two friends inparticular, cody and gabby, constantly ask me, ask yourself why your still dealing with what your dealing with? and...sometimes...i dont have any reason.
:/

idk ill figure this out.

ill say this over & over again

i hate liars.

ugh pt. a million

I hate when you bitch about someone/something and people say, god do you ever give "it" or the person a break? And make me seem like I have no reasons. Well so everyone knows, and somepeople already do know I bitch so much about a certain person because I have reasons too. The person isn't so sweet and nice as you think they are.

Bye.

so sick

i hate when people arent honest.
all i want from you is honesty.


heart, feels like its broken, always.

classs/snow/sucks

so i woke up this morning, and theres snow everywhere! i am still not used to having all this snow all the time. it sucks, cause i used to love snow, and now i hate it!

i have class soon, and since last week ive been going at 12 and not having class till about 2.
since i finished my one class early, i dont have to go, so i have a extra long lunch. so i get there, sitin advisory for about 20 minutes, and have lunch for about...2 hours!
then have a class! its stupid.

everyday but today though i get out at 1 which rules.

thursday i start my 2 new classes, which are bio1 and funds of writing. not to worried about the writing, cause ive always been told i was good. but at EASTERN, i failed bio. so well see!

TPTD and FTFD show this weekend, SOOO NOT STOKED, i dont like either of the bands, im only going so i can go with kaytee and aaron.

my friend told me to stay away from joe cause he might "do something" to me if im near him.
i cant believe someone of his age, would take me making fun of his band so seriously, seriously enough to be a dick. how old are you? growup.

i wasnt going to go, i was going to hangout with sydne instead, but she broke her damn car!
but im going now, and truth is, im not scared of him, because i think its insane at how he took so much offensive to me making fun of his band. but my ex boyfriend joe, had "mean" friends at shows, that are alot more then anything then he will ever be. so im not scared hahha. never would me. he isnt anything special. but i dont like going to shows, with some immature "boy" who would fuck with me. just not worth it. but aaron told me he wouldnt do shit, and if he did to tell him. but im not like that, cause i can handle things myself. but that was rad of aaron.

anyways, thats my update.
bye!

sosickkk

im more then sick of the feelings i have been feeling. im sick of my tummy feeling crappy because my mood and head feel crappy. i hate all these thoughts and insecurities going through my head always. i just wish i knew everything. or well..maybe that wouldnt be a good idea. i wouldnt want to find out something i dont know, that would probably hurt me terribly. but i also want to know that im not going to be hurt in the longrun. or whatever. idk. im sick of being so insecure about everything. but i cant help it. after seeing one thing, of course im going to feel like this constantly now. 

sorry to people who are reading this, and have no idea what i am talking about. some do. but i dont wanna write to much about what im talking about in detail.

ohwell. i guess ill never no. and no matter how much reassurence i get, ill always feel this way.

always.

looking up

So today was actually a good day for the most part. went to school nd it was fun. then went to burger king with zach and this girl, i forget her name :( shes super nice though.
but it was fun to hangout with people i dont normally hangout with.
also! i made a new friend, and her name is kaytee, and shes super sweet and cute.
we have this date thing, where every monday we get together and watch the city and daddys girls, cause were dumb :)
haha.

we went to the mall last night, and i bought gabby the besttt xmas gift ever. i know, late! but i see her in FEB so not that late! haha.
shes going to love it. of course, i told her wht it was and had to show her.
its a FLASK! haha thats green and says PEACE on it.
shes all about peace and a drinker, so why not?

a lot has been on my mind about robby, but thats stuff i dont really want to write on her.

:/ but whateverrr!

anyways, really lame ftfd and tptd show the 16th, im going with kaytee.
ohwell.

slipknot is soon which will be fun, last time was legit.

trapped under ice is the 18th, im gonna miss it :(
but oh well. ill hopefully be able to catch them another time.


so ive decided i want to legitally become a witch.
im gonna look up how to become a wiccan and all that stuff, so hopefully i can do it!
charmed is my fav show, and always has been. i know being a wiccan is nothing like charmed, but close enough. its so awesome and so cool. so hopefully i can do it!

<3

fucking retarded.

Its about 6 in the morning and im at alexs house, laying on the couch curled up in a blanket. Its so fucking cold. And all they are doing is playing video games. Im so bored. Like sweet life? I bet.

The descision I made with a certain thing ( few will know what im talking about ). Im not even sure I made the right choice. Like im probably, forsure, just setting myself up for lies. But ohwell. Ill see what happens. Im a strong person and that's all that matters in the end.

Frank is slowly but surely not hating me again, I think. I hope so. I miss him a lot. So he needs to stop hating me haha.

Also, in feb. Gabby is finally coming here<3 and I can't wait, I've missed her so much. And the best part about it it, I think nick dumb is coming with her. Sup stoked, 2nd after gabby I've missed him sooo fucking much. So it will be good to see him :]

My eyes are burning and im tired.

Bye.