part 2, to my last blog

So I find out, he's at nicks hanging out. When at 6 0 clock you told me you couldn't come over. Because his stepdad or whoever would bitch about him being out. Well wow, glad your out right now at nicks. When I asked you can't just come over till like 9? And he said no what do you not get.

Well obviously he wouldn't bitch you out, cause your still out.

My point exactly. If you donnt wanna hangout, then say so.

Bye.

who would have known

so of course, tonight, i should have known i wasnt going to be hanging out with robby. everytime i get that feeling in my stomach, theres gonna be some dumb reason i dont see him tonight. and well i was right, "nick was bitchy for me not gonna be home tonight". well then why did you tell me earlier you were going to? and the night before?
ugh i know this really isnt his fault, but sometimes i just feel like he dosent want to hang out. and if thats the case i wish he could tell me.
also, hes now in just do it. which is rad, i love just do it. tyler is my biffle :p
but i know this is going to take over his life. it already has, he told me today after his meeting he was going to come hangout with me. then oh sorry i got practice. well, i know this is important that you learn the songs, but you made plans with me first. and it didnt even bug him. id be tottallly diffrent about the situtation, if he was in just do it before we were together, but he wasnt.

last night i said, im happy i get to spend new years with you, and he said oh well i cant wait for my first show. like oh really? at least lie to me and say your excited too.

i just hate feeling shitty. and i hate having a boyfriend thats my bestfriend. haha. because i dont know what to do with myself when im not with him.

but regardless of him probably going to forget about me, i am happy for him. i know hes been wanting to be in a band, so regardless, ill support him.

anyways, on a happier note, tommorow biffle sam is pickin me up, and doing my hair. really stoked about it. i need a change. and whats the best thing to do when your stressed about stuff ladies? get your hair done duh.

then after that, ROBBY IS SUPPOSED TO COME SLEEP OVER. but well see i guess.

then NEW YEARS! cant wait. im really stoked about spending it with robby and whoever, but more excited to spend it with sammy. i really didt see me and her getting close at all. but i can honestly say shes a awesome person, and im glad shes my friend.
were getting dressed up, and gona have a blast your jealous :p

tyler said something about a show at the haunted basement, id go. cause id go, and 2 i havent seen tyler in awhile, and i enjoy hanging out with tyler. so hopefully i can see him.

well...thats it for now.
im gonna go see if drake and josh is on.
bye.

kinda bummed

So I hung out with dom & sammy today. And then went to robbys. But I realized, im pretty bummed that dom is leaving. He's radrad. :/ but ohwell. Ill see him again, so its okay. But today me and him were talking, and I said something about someone kidding around, and he was like shut your mouth! and I said, if someone said I was dumb, you wouldn't say that. And he said, actually I have stuck up for you before. And I find that really weird. Because I don't know anyone here for them to say anything bad about me. And he said it was a girl. I am pretty sure I have a idea about who/whom they are. But that pisses me of cause I come off mean, and I knowwww I can be a bitch but they don't even know me. I say shit about girls, don't get me wrong, but Its nothing I wouldn't say to their faces. Idk shit like that gets to me. I couldn't give a fuck about what people think of how I am. But it pisses me off these girls haven't even gotten to know me. Ohwell.

terrible

So last night was the worst thing ever.

the night started out funfun. with sammy :) we went to a rad gnargnar show. 

but on the way to taking me home we got in a car accident. thankfully me her, and justin are okay.

but her car isnt :( 

it sucks cause my neck rly hurts. and my lip is fucked. and now i have a headache so bad, that it makes me feel like im going to puke. 

i dont really feel like writing anymore. but i thought id update

todaysucked

so today was one of the crappiest days ever. i hate when you go from having really good days, weeks, or months, and then all of a sudden your life just sucks the big one.

alot of shitty stuff happened today, and i dont even wanna talk about it.

but last night was fun, even though the beginning sucked. dom & tyler slept over :)
and we watched trueblood, of course haha.
and dom fell asleep, and outta nowhere woke up and was like, i wanna make brownies.
it was really funny.

i went to a show with sammy tonight @ the haunted basement and watched ace play then we left. there was this cat there that threwup and it seems like noone takes care of it :( it bummed me, sammy & ace out badbad.
ace saidsomething about talking to the kid that owns it about letting him keep take it maybe. so sammy can have it.
so i hope she can.
you shouldnt have animals unless you can take care of em.

gabby comes back in febuary, and i cant wait. i miss her more then anything :(

disapointed.

i hate when you really want something and the person you care for so much, just cant do it for you.
my bestfriend left today, and all i wanted was for my boyfriend to just comeover tonight like he said he was going to and just hangout with me. but of course, as it WOULD be. hes not going to.
i hatewhen you wait all day for something, and then they dont come over. or when they wait till the time they are supposed to be on there way to say, oh im not coming anymore. but its not a big deal to him because, "i see you everyday"


well, wow. i didnt know it was sucha burden for you to come and hangout.

i dont get why guys dont just say no, if they dont want to do what is being done.
if you dont want to hangout with me, dont fucking hang out with me. theres noone forcing you.
if i get mad, so fucking what. dont be a baby about it. deal with it.

im a girl. who lives in des moines. with basically no friends. i have friends. but there his friends. i have no friends that i can call my friends except one, which is sammy. but shes busy alot so its tottalllly understandable as to why i dont see her so much.

its just, friends arent friends that cant hangout with you unless your boyfriends around.

but its whatever, hell go out to his friends. and hell have fun.
and ill sit home by myself, and be bored. missing home. and missing my friends.

im not trying to put this as his fault. but i wish someone here actually cared, or even understood where im coming from.

hate this

i hate when my bestfriend comes in for a week from philadelphia, and then leaves. i hate watching her go :( its the worst feeling in the world. i really do love it here, but it feels so much better to have a part of home here with me, let a lone my bestfriend. i hate when she leaves. i cry like a little baby everytime.
it also sucks, because, everytime she leaves, part of me really wants to go with her. part of me really misses home.

i miss sitting on the beach at night, listening to the water. more then anything.
its one of the best feelings ever. it feels like it takes all my stress away, and that there is nothing on my mind.

i wish so bad i could go and sit there for ever right now.
ive been stressed out with so much and so much shit has been on mind i just want it all gone. just for a little bit, and i feel like thats the only thing that could do it.

im gonna nap.
bye.

fuck thanksgiving

its just a really fucking lame holiday, where people eat a bunch of poor turkeys, that were beaten and murderd just for you to have a great wonderful yummy day.
well fuck all of you! im eatting veggies! all day!
ha!

anyways. ive been thinking about a lot of stuff, and i hope you read this, whom im abou to read about.
my bestfriend was dicked over by another one of my friends. and shes supposed to move here. i know her intentions were not moving here for him, they were to be with her bestfriend, me!. but i know what a guy can do to someone, and you not want to be anywhere near that person. i really feel like she has changed her mind. and i really hope she dosent. shes my bestfriend and i love her so much. and we have so much fun and were so happy when shes here, i really hope nothing has changed. i hope she knows regardless, shed have a wonderful time living out here, just cause id be right there with her. im always there when she needs me, and same with me. dont let some buttbutt ruin your thoughts on what you did think was going to be a good idea.
cause its still going to be.
<3

GR!

so im in a really crappy mood right now and need to vent so here i go. so i was being a creep like all girls are, and i looked at robbys comments and saw his ex cmnt him saying "dont lie to yourself, you know she is" and any girl would be like whats that about? so i asked him about it. and he explained but like flipped out. like ITS NOT A BIG DEAL. and i never fucking said it was a big deal.
i love this kid so much, but we fight over the dumbest stuff, and i really hate it! =( but ohwell i guess.
i mean i guess he has a reason to be a little pissy but its not like i flipped out on him about it, i was just asking a question. he would have done the same if my ex boyfriend commented me saying something like that.

all i want right now is mike and nick. i miss them being my bestfriends. and them both always being there for me. i love it here, but i miss MY friends. i hate hanigng with the friends i do have here, and having them talk about old memories and inside jokes. it makes me feel so left out. i want my friends back and my inside jokes back. its so sucky.
i miss hanging in mikes basement with nick. and always fighting with the both of them over gay stuff haha. and how when me and my mom would always fight, mike was ALWAYS right there for me. =(

whateverrrrr.

and im sick of waiting for my bestfriend to get here. FUCK.

fuckmylife

tonight was the shittiest night ever. except in the beginning it ruled. robby picked me up from school today, and we just cuddled and watched these crazy animal attacks and cops haha. Then he left me. and it sucked. me and my mom got in this huge fight, over telling her, in milk there is always 10% puss. and then she started disrespecting my beliefs on why i dont eat meat. and that i have to stop caring about animals. like no? ill believe what i want to, and you believe in what you want. i dont ever get on anyones case unless they get on mine. i just wish she would respect my beliefs. but ohwell. as long as i do it, idc what anyone else does with there life. i know not eating meat can be unhealthy, but i wish people realized what they were doing to animals and realize its not healthy. AND my friend sammy said she could probably get me a job being a receptionist at her work. AND I KNOW WHAT YOUR THINKING. i never call people first and im really shy. but its a rad job, and i know i can do it. and all my mom kept saying was that i couldnt do it. and all this crap. like how is that supposed to help me out? idk. whatever. i believe in myself, and i guess thats all that matters. gabby comes in in 24 days. and i cant wait. i really need my bestfriend more then ever lately. im so happy when shes here. i cant wait till shes here for good, and hopefully ill be living with her. cause thats whats going to make me happy! but whatever well seeeeee. idk i really hope everything takes a turn for the better. and i hope everything comes out the way i want it too. i just want to be happy. the only things that have been making me happy is robby, gabby and sammy. and all my other friends here. but well see!

ramblerambleramble

sooo, last night me and gabby had the longest conversation about our apartment. let me tell you how stoked i am about it!

SOOOO STOKED. hahaha. were going to be so cute and happy in our little apartment. i just cant wait till she comes back so we can hate everyone together like we did when she was here. i honestly cant wait. also, i have no idea what i would do without her, she always listens to me  ramble about shit and cry about my issues. thats another thing, i finally talked to robby about stuff that has been bugging me and i think he finally understands and gets why ive been upset about certain things and whatnot. he can be the biggest butt sometimes, but i do love him more then anything. school RULES. i think im doing pretty damn well, which is crazy cause i usually suck in school. i also have this friend there, alicia, shes kinda just that friend you have at school. she has a accent, shes from indiana and its the cutest thing ive ever heard. shes adorable. 

buttt tommorow is voting day, and since i cant vote everyone needs to go vote! i say vote for obama, but vote for whoever you want, just do it! people say there vote dosent count but it does! you do have a say in whos gonnab e rulling us for the next 4 years so do it!

im going to stop rambling now. bye.

mylifffeee

soo, my life is insane. and i thought id make one of these because i can vent about whatever and talk about whatever and get whatever out. first off, ive got to say, besides waiting for my bestfriend, ive got to be the happiest ive ever been. im in love with the most perfect person in the world, robby. hes the hugest butt ive ever met sometimes but whatever. thats okay. i love him so ideal with it. my friends here are amazing. except one, im not so sure if iwant to be friends with them anymore. but ill figure it out. my bestfriend, gabby will be coming here after christmas! and im so stoked on it. i know my mom is letting me move out, so i can move in with her. and thats soso exciting. living with my bestfriend, going to school & having a job just seems so exciting to me. i know a lot of people would probably say that stupid because im young. but whatever! me and gabby arent stupid and well make it work! school is going awesome too. my one teacher looked in my folder and saw that i was doing work thats not even started yet and gave me credits early. hopefully ill be graduating a lot sooner then i should be. oh! i also get to take my cat when i move. thanks to my mama. well i mean duh she better let me take my cat. haha. anyways, thats the update on my life. OH and less then a month...its my birthday! wooh.